Single? Be Fulfilled. Don’t be Desperate!

Being single isn’t the end of the world. For some people, being single is a way of life. I see it as a transition period. Whether you’re newly single, have been for a long time or never had a relationship, it’s important to take advantage of the situation to be as fulfilled and happy as you can by yourself.

There’s a social pressure to be in a relationship. As a result, people rush towards them mindlessly without asking themselves if it’s right for them at the moment. They feel broken without someone. They need a second half to complete them. Wanting to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is a bad idea. It’s not a recipe for success and happiness. Yet, many make it a full-time job to find the one. If all you do with your life is look for someone, you’re desperate. You’re not ready to be with anyone.

A Desperate Person is Not Sexy

When you’re desperate, people can feel it — and it is not an attractive quality. It will wreak havoc on your emotional state and ruin most of the time you have to yourself that could be spent on more interesting and productive activities. Concentrating all your efforts on dating sites, pickup forums and watching seduction videos online won’t help you in the long term. You might find someone as equally desperate as you are, but it never lasts long.

When you’re single, it’s the best of times to work on yourself. People are most attracted to those who are comfortable with themselves, independent and driven by their own ambitions. The magic pill people are looking for doesn’t exist. The true formula is to work on becoming awesome. Awesome attracts people. Instead of wasting time looking for love, invest it in loving yourself and being the best person you can be.

Focus on Yourself Instead

When I first started dating, I had a tendency to rush into relationships the minute another ended. I felt I needed to be in a relationship to be happy. Ultimately, it never felt right. It took me years of repeating the same mistake to realize that I needed to be good by myself first and not focus on being with someone. By spending time alone, I went through a personal transformation that helped me be all glowing and shiny. Remember, people like glowing and shiny things!

I worked on myself on various levels like fitness, developing new interests, learning about new topics, and going out with people more. As an introvert, I’m not the most social person in the world, but I put myself out there as much as possible. For about two years, all I cared about was doing my things and it paid off. It’s not that I wasn’t looking at all. I simply made a priority of interacting with people without a hidden agenda to great success. I ended up developing a network of amazing people that eventually led me to meet someone I finally felt right with.

Confidence is the Key Ingredient

One of the most attractive traits in anyone is confidence. The more confident you are, the more attractive you become. It can also be a little intimidating to others. Think about how unnerved you feel when you see someone you think is out of your league. That’s a good kind of intimidating. Seek out to be out of your own league and build up from there. Anything you do to improve yourself will help with confidence.

Hit the gym. Learn how to cook. Take some dancing lessons. Join a local Meetup based on your interests or some you are curious about. Work on great projects and concentrate on being the best at work. Just don’t go too crazy on the gym. It’s awesome to have a great body, but it doesn’t compensate for a lack of personality. Work on what’s inside your head first, the 6-pack and bulging biceps are an added bonus.

The more you do, the more you learn, the less time you spend looking, the more interesting you become and the more likely you’ll find someone. It’s not rocket science. It appears to be counter-intuitive at first until it simply works. You need to be willing to invest the time and energy to work on something by yourself until people just can’t ignore you anymore.

The next time you feel depressed because you’re single, turn it around and seek to go make yourself be better and feel better. It might not take too long before you get what you want.