Your Entitlement Makes You Miserable

Do you know what entitlement is? What you take for granted, all those things you expect from yourself, others and society. Things and rights you believe should be given to you no questions asked. That my friend is: entitlement. But you surely can’t be entitled, can you?

The truth is, everyone is entitled to a degree. Hell, even I feel entitled to certain things. I expect people to treat me with respect and feel entitled to free healthcare. I’m Canadian after all so it doesn’t appear to be too much to ask for except that free healthcare isn’t a given to everybody around the world. In a sense, I’m more lucky than deserving. I’m not complaining but I know many of my peers who do. It still isn’t enough for them.

Where things start going wrong is when your sense of entitlement becomes so large it starts sabotaging your chances of improving your situation or getting the things you want. An overgrown ego might give people a hard time walking through door frames but an overgrown sense of entitlement is like chaining yourself to an anvil, tossing the key, bitching about it and blame the world for it. The more it grows, the more crippling it becomes, and eventually, you can’t move forward anymore. It will make you jealous, bitter and miserable. The worst part of it is you probably won’t even know that your sense of entitlement is the culprit. You’ll blame your friends, family, partner, colleagues, boss or even society for all the crap happening in your life.

The culprit is right in front of the mirror

All the problems you have in your life have one factor in common: YOU.

  • You didn’t get cheated out of that promotion that was given to someone else.
  • You didn’t get that raise because you’re being undervalued.
  • You’re not broke because your job doesn’t pay enough.
  • You didn’t get a bad grade because the exam was too hard.
  • You didn’t get a second date because his/her expectations were too high.

You didn’t deserve it.

  • Your parents don’t have to give you shelter, food and money if you’re able to go out there and get a job.
  • People don’t have to accommodate for your insecurities or the choices you make in your life.
  • A date doesn’t have go back to your place just because you were a nice guy.
  • Someone isn’t in your debt because you did them a favor once.
  • People don’t have to agree with your opinions or your beliefs.
  • You are not entitled to special treatment.

Nobody owes you anything.

You Must Work to Earn It.

The school of hard knocks teaches you that, if you want something, you have to work for it. Sometimes, you have to work hard, very hard, excessively hard towards something. That will not guarantee you anything. People have been conditioned to expect a medal just for showing up or an immediate reward for lifting a finger. The mentality of instant gratification gets in the way. The only thing you should expect as a reward for your effort is good habits, a learning experience, pride in accomplishing something and, maybe if you’re lucky, what you have been working for. We tend to underestimate how much we take for granted and the amounts of effort we need to do something.

Life isn’t fair however, some people have it easier than others. Don’t waste your time scorning them. Yes, they might have been lucky, at least that’s what you’d like to convince yourself. Keep an open mind. Instead, choose to consider the fact that they might have worked hard for it. Look to them for inspiration instead of being jealous. Have them show you the way to what you want.

Don’t compete with anyone other than yourself. All that matters is that you are better than who you were yesterday. Be a winner. Focus on winning. Don’t be a spectator or a loser focusing on the winners.

Be Accountable. Crush Entitlement

Once you’ve accepted that you are accountable for everything that happens to you and that you are the one in control of changing things in your life, you’ll slowly be turning your entitlement into self-empowerment. When that happens, a vast number of changes start occurring. You will:

  • Acquire a sense of responsibility for yourself and others.
  • Become self-sufficient.
  • Make positive changes in your life.
  • Think in terms of what you need to do for yourself and not what others must do for you.
  • Become a go-getter.
  • Respected you more.
  • Trusted and looked up to.
  • Become a problem solver instead of a complainer.
  • Trade envy and jealousy for inspiration and motivation.
  • Choose action over laziness.
  • Stop dreaming about your dreams and instead choose to work towards them.
  • Accomplish far more than you’d ever hoped.
  • Become hungry to acquire the knowledge and skills you need to change and get the things you want.
  • Work towards destroying your crippling insecurities.

If you’ve started making these changes, you’ll realize that next time, you might be the one deserving of the promotion and big salary raise. You’ll be financially secure, nailing it on your exams, be a great catch and look like a beast. Perhaps end up being the one making the rules for yourself instead of following the ones of others. In the end, you’ll get what you want and be proud of it.

Never take anything or anyone for granted. Earn what you want, don’t demand it. This will help you go far.